Some people are angry with you because you did not take their advice and has vowed not to rest until they are proven right. They are angry with you because they have been waiting for far too long to see you fail because you did not do what they asked you to do.
I mean it is understandable if you still see yourself as a “bigger” person due to the fact that you are older, you are richer or used to be richer or you are more experienced in certain things. This does not mean others should take your advice no matter what. Live and please, allow them to also live the best way they know how.
My cousin, James made a choice to marry a beautiful, elegant girl and everyone was happy for him except his friend/brother, Benny. This guy had lived with my cousin since childhood, and they still live in the same town and in the same business. They see each other quiet often. Benny vehemently opposed to this idea with reasons that, the girl, Elaine, was not beautiful enough. He had no other “suitable” girl for him but any other girl but Elaine was ok by him. To think that, this uncivilized and disingenuous man thinks of himself that his “brother” must adhere to his advice was nothing but amusing.
My cousin was adamant and so one would think this guy would give up and wish him well. He went on a one-man mission to prevent this marriage from happening. First, he tried coercing everyone else to advise James from marrying the girl without any reason.
Photo Credit: Instag Yasmeen Amadu
James went ahead to marry Elaine against Benny’s diabolic wishes and after four beautiful kids, they are going strong. Their marriage is in its fifteenth year and there are no signs of trouble. At this point, no one expect Benny to pursue this old narrative and will do the honorable thing and leave this wonderful lady alone. This grown man has been cooking up and spewing horrible stories about this innocent girl, who has not offended anybody. She is the best thing that happened to James, and he is a happy man with a beautiful home.
No one knows what will make Benny stop this action. Here is a man who has three wives he chose to marry without any protest from anyone, no one has tried to tell him that any of his wives is a terrible woman, but he goes about telling lies about his “brother’s” only wife of fifteenth years.
Why is this man so restless? Why will a man married to three women find the need to destroy someone else’s only wife? What will the benefits be to this man if everyone around them hates her too? What if he succeeds in whatever his aim is and the marriage ends, what will he gain? Has he thought of the children, and how each of the couple will become?
The mere selfish satisfaction of an “I told you so” is what he so desperately want so much that, he has succeeded in being named, stupid among people around them of which he is oblivious of.
For him to prove to everyone that his sentiments about the girl were true, he had moved from, the girl is not beautiful, when it did not work, he went ahead to spew lies that, she is disrespectful, she’s extravagant, she’s not friendly and a host of other unprintable words. His problem is people are not buying his smear campaign enough. If he’s bent on being proven right at least he should stick to his original story.
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This mission has blinded him to the point that he has become a laughingstock. His obsession with the downfall of his brother’s wife is mind boggling and frankly dangerous.
We all feel obligated to offer our advice and suggestions when people seek or when we feel it is necessary to our loved ones even without them asking. Whether they take the advice or not is not our business. No one should force his beliefs on another, and it is only fair we leave such people to make their own decisions.
If you offer your advice and someone takes it, remember that whether the end results is good or not, it is the person that will have to deal with the consequences and it is only fair we allow them to be the final decider.
If they don’t take your advice, you don’t lose anything and that is ok. Don’t secretly wish them bad. Forget about your obsession to be always right and leave them alone. Some even go above and beyond to plot against them and push them to failure so they can have the satisfaction of saying I told you so.
We must endeavor in recognizing that, people are different, and we all have our pace and timing of doing things as well as achieving certain milestones. What you see now isn’t what they are seeing, and at their own pace, they will come to understand what you advised them to do. It may or may not be too late. Offer your advice and let them make the decision.
There are many Bennys in our lives and at our offices. The mere fact that, others didn’t take their advice makes them so bitter to the point of sabotaging people’s relationships and jobs.
Because you advised someone not to marry someone doesn’t mean you should set them up for failure. Whatever this wishful thinking is, never ends well. Making someone your enemy for something like this is too much mental energy to waste. Let’s refocus our energies on innovative and positive ideas that will be beneficial to our lives and humanity.