I don’t believe a random person can wake up one day and hate you with so much passion. It is always someone that you know, someone you used to be friends with or a family member that you may have fallen out with or have not been in contact within a while that can hate you. As the saying goes, there is a thin line between love and hate and I believe that is why it takes little to nothing for a love one to shift to an arch-enemy.
It really hurts to be in a situation like this especially because you may not have any idea of this kind of hate from a loved one you mostly still love and still consider as friend/family.
Most acquaintances and old friends are secretly wishing for bad things to happen to you or are in pains for the little happiness you have and suffering insomnia whenever they see you. It is possible you don’t even know you have become their enemy or remember that they hate you that much until you get lucky and get them confess to your loved one or yourself. Often, the cause of this hatred has nothing to do with something bad you did to them but for their own sense of entitlement.
I wished a friend of mine a happy new year by text and called her as well. She answered the call and told me she was busy and would call me back. She returned my call after three long days and to my surprise, she said she was upset with me.
I asked why and she said she has spent the last four years angry at me and that whenever her family asked of me, she told them I was a bad person and she had stopped talking to me. I was baffled and laughed out loud thinking she was joking but oh mine, she wasn’t, and just like a witch, she went on to profess that, she had spent the years suffering insomnia and depressed especially when she saw a happy me on social media.
She then said she had a list of questions for me. She was acting like, either there was no tomorrow or she was not going to talk to me again so she should get all her answers.
On top of her many questions was if I have become as successful, connected and as happy as she sees on my social media handles.
So someone I consider a friend, is telling me in her own words that, she’s been suffering insomnia because of what she sees on my status? I paused and realized something was wrong with this person and affirming her answers will drive her into more depression and decided to play along to ease her pain.
My simple answer to her was that, I have learnt in life that, your happiness depends on no one but yourself, so I do my best to live comfortably and stress free by creating the memories I want. I find happiness in whatever I have.
She gave a loud sigh of relief that, most of my answers to her questions did not confirm her worst fears. I am not making money and I am not as big as she had feared I was and that made her relieved.
I asked her how she was doing, and she didn’t want to waste her time responding to that, she was only interested in getting her answers about my life!
I reminded her that, I have been sending her text and love emojis whenever I saw her on Facebook. I always liked her post and posted nice comments on every post on her wall whether she made the post or she was tagged.
I also reminded her that, the last time we spoke I made that call. So if any of us should be angry, it should be me for her not returning my call.
She still didn’t get the whole point but went ahead and reminded me that, she aways sent me a gift through people coming home back in the days and that, she did a lot for me and she was surprised I could stay that long without calling her.
I reminded her again that, I did appreciate her sending me stuff about three occasions that is why I reciprocated by sending her dry fish and hair extensions and wigs more than ten times and reminded her of who and where I sent the items to be delivered to her. That was when she realized that, for the ten years she lived in Europe, she never used money to buy a wig because she always had some at home sent to her by me. She sigh that, wow, I have forgotten you were the only person who actually sent me anything from Ghana to Europe for free. Oh, you are very good, but I was just angry.
I asked her what her response to her family was whenever they asked of me,
She said, when she told them I was a bad person, they didn’t believe it and pressed her to elaborate.
Frankly, I was also looking for the answer she gave her family. What exactly did you tell them? I pushed her for the answer her family could not get from her but the best she could give me was, hmmm, I couldn’t get one.
What can I say? Nothing, my take-away from this is that, she is only human. I learn from experience and when people show me who they are, I believe them.
A mere phone call or text could have saved her all these unnecessary headaches, but she chose to be bitter and suffer at someone who was happily living her life.
When you are fortunate to hear them confess, please take extra precaution because even if they don’t take steps to destroy you physically, they may cause a serious hit to your reputation and image which can block certain opportunities in life. In this case imagine if any of her family members was or is planning on having a business with me, this answer from her could have been the end of it.
I am certain she has gone ahead to say the same nasty things she talked about me to her family to our mutual friends and only God knows the damages it has caused.
How you know they are horrible people is when they go about telling everyone else about what you have done to them, but they never tell you the supposed offender.
Such people are not looking for reconciliation, they are insecure, and they feel you have become above their level, and they are jealous.
Be careful who you call a friend, family or loved one. Some of them want your downfall.
Such people do not deserve your love and attention. Try as much as you can to stay away from them.
On the other hand, if you are on the opposite side of this piece, find help because this is not healthy for you. Recognize that this is bad and strive to remove jealousy from your heart and heal. Look out for the positive in the other person. Think of the many good things they have done for you, or the benefit others are getting from them and be a positive person. You will be surprised at how happy and meaningful your life will become.